I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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