just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
