Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
