Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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