I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
