The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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