with your own penis?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
