My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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