I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
