Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
