Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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