i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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