I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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