and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
