you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
