please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
