Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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