my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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