he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
