I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It was confusing and full of hummus
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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