Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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