Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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