i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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