Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
