At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
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It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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