I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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