I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
