Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
