Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
