Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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