He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize