wrigley field is MILF paradise
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
