Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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