hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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