Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
