But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
