I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
