I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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