it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
