help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
