he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
