she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize