why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
