You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
