you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
