so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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