How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
