yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
