Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
