he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Randomize
