I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize