I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
