I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
