so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
