It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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