garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
