Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
