she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
